Daily Bread

I’ve spent the better part of this year feeling anxious about money. Being in ministry, it’s easy to wonder where provision is going to come from.. We have always had enough, always have had exactly what we need, and yet I still worry if the Lord will keep to His promise. 

This was a major struggle for me this month. I was offered a full-time job at a different ministry; a promise of having a steady, generous income that would give me the illusion of comfort, stability, and financial freedom. On one hand, I felt like this job was a gift from the Lord, that I had the freedom to choose it. On the other hand, I felt deep down that agreeing to this job would take me away from the call He has on me regarding worship and prayer in Canada; the mission my heart burns for. I also knew that my yes would largely be due to my worry about money… not a great place to start. I felt the Lord was challenging me in this—would I jump ship and rely on my worldly understanding of provision or remain faithful to what He’s called me to already? 

At the heart of it, I was struggling to let God be THE provider. A job, a home, money in the bank, purpose and fulfilment, satisfaction with my ministry, security for the future; these things I felt like I needed to take into my own hands. To control every outcome, to rely on my understanding of what I think is best for me. This is so often how we as Christians live, without even knowing it. We think we are surrendered to the Lord, that we believe He will provide, and then we strive and strive and strive out of anxiety and fear that there won’t be enough. This job opportunity was a HUGE wake-up call for me in this area. There are still parts of me that want to cling to my own understanding of provision, to be the sole provider of my life. 

We are instructed to pray “give us this day our daily bread,” (Matt 6:11), not “give us today everything we’ll ever need again.” The whole point is that we keep coming back to the Provider rather than looking for an alternative, one-time breakthrough. This path is harder, but richer.

If this is speaking to you in any way, there is no guilt, shame, or condemnation in what I’m saying. I’m highlighting a part of life that the human heart is bound to struggle with. The wrestle between surrender and control is one of the main themes we see throughout Scripture… no wonder we wrestle with it to this day. My encouragement to you (and to me) is that Jesus is our daily bread, enough for you today. And He will be enough for you tomorrow, even if His provision doesn’t look like what you thought it would. Eat the fresh bread today and take comfort knowing that there will be more tomorrow. Even if you only have enough faith for today, tomorrow will worry about itself. He knows every need, desire, struggle, and hope, and He will prove Himself faithful to always be enough.